I'm not writing this for you, I'm writing this for me. Every once in awhile I need a reminder.
1. I would not fair well in prison and I really don't wanna be somebody's bitch. A bitch? Sure. But I don't like the idea of ownership of bitches in prison.
2. No one looks good in the pictures on the front page of the paper.
3. I can't afford a good enough lawyer to go to a posh prison.
4. My mom would be PISSED.
5. Orange makes me look washed out.
6. I hate doing laundry for five, let's not even think about laundry for hundreds.
7. I don't know how to make license plates.
8. I get stage fright when it comes to peeing in front of others.
9. I absolutely refuse to take a shower in a room full of naked women.
10. No midnight snacks.
11. I think you only get one pillow. Who the hell can sleep with only one pillow?
12. I wouldn't have grandchildren, and I'm counting on revenge. It's the only thing that keeps me sane.
Ok, well that's all I got. Apparently there are only 12 reasons not to murder my kids. That's not very compelling.
After thought- There is no alcohol in prison, none that I would put in my mouth anyway, but there are plenty of drugs so I'm not sure if that's a pro or a con. Further analysis is needed on this topic. I also think this topic needs a 'pro' list, I'll work on that.