Thursday, August 4, 2011

Leave It to My Husband to Ruin Everything And Then Make Me Realize He Was Right

The Mormons came to visit us again yesterday and like always, it was a great evening. We have come clean with them and told them that we are in no way planning on quitting smoking and we're also not going to be baptized into the Mormon faith. It's a wonderful religion, but I don't do religion period, and I don't care how awesome you think yours is. I was pleasantly surprised with how well they took the news and I love that they still make us part of their week, even though it isn't getting them anywhere.

There is one of the guys in particular who has really bonded to me, it was an instantaneous clicking, and I adore him. He's 19 and he's just such a nice kid that I can't help but to feel a little tugging on my heart. So he walks in yesterday and the very first thing he says to me is, "I saved $10 this week using my coupons!" Yes, this makes me feel all proud, especially since those were the coupons that I gave to him. He's really getting into this coupon thing and I could not be happier. I gave him more of them yesterday and I hope he gets to use them. I'm infecting the world, one teenage boy at a time. It's my dream come true. Anyway...

So we're sitting there and he asks us why we came to the decision to not join the church and then he says this, "I love you guys and I worry about you." When I look up he's sitting on the couch crying. Crying because he's so upset that I'll be going to hell. It was very touching, I have never in my entire life had someone cry for my soul. What a moment.

As usual, after they left The Makeshift Dad and I were discussing the visit and you can damn straight bet that the crying came up. We both felt that it was very moving and perhaps one of the most loving things we've ever encountered. Now it's no secret that this young man, although he likes my husband, mostly just digs me. So I took the crying very personally, and was telling my hubby that I don't think I've ever had a friend that was so concerned about me that they were in tears. It was a wonderful thing.

My hubby says this... "I'm not sure it's about friendship for him, I think you remind him of his mom." My initial reaction went something like this-  "HIS MOM?!? His fucking mom?!! I'm still in my 20's for fuck sake, for a few more months anyway, there is no way in hell I remind anyone older than 10 of their mom!" Leave it to my husband to take a touching moment and turn it into something ugly. Fucker.

The more I thought about it though, the more I felt like it was a compliment. I do like to "mother the world", be it foster children, or animal rescue, or hanging out with the teens that have uninvolved parents around here. I do kinda give off that mom vibe. What I'm wondering is why I had such a volatile reaction to something like being called motherly. After all, I AM a mom so one would hope that I had some motherliness about me. Perhaps even to the extent that strangers could pick up on it.

The question today is, Why was I offended that someone would relate to me using my most favorite role that I play?? I do love being a mom. I may bitch about it, but nothing else in this world gives me as much pleasure and feelings of meaningfulness, worth, and completeness. Yet, when someone tells me I remind them of a mom my initial reaction is to become instantaneously spitting mad. Paradoxical.


  1. Sounds like you have a romantic interest in the 19 year old. That might be why it made you upset to be compared to his mom. You don't want to be mom material because then that would just be strange.

    1. Hmm, interesting, but I think it's because I'm 10 years older than him. He's older than my baby sister by a few years so I'm certainly not old enough to be a "mom" to him! Or at least I don't feel that way. I felt like it would be like me telling one of my friends that they had a mom role.